Finally Stephan Harper, concerned with the socially conservative direction of the Justice Portfolio, has replaced Minister Vic Toews, a zealous social conservative, with Rob Nicholson, who is merely a stout social conservative. Civil Liberty Groups and Pro-Life organizations around the country breathed a sigh of relief as Rob Nicholson, a devout Roman Catholic and outspoken critic of abortion rights, was sworn into the portfolio. Susan Anderson of the Saskatoon Pro-Life Group was quoted as saying “as I understand it, the difference between a stout and zealous social conservative is huge: for instance, where a zealous conservative would be against all pornography period, a stout conservative would only be against all pornography involving pictures or words. So we’re all sleeping a little easier around the office these days”

Vic Toews was lambasted in the media when he openly mused about the idea of sending 10 year old children to prison, an issue that Mr. Nicholson has been very clear to avoid, stating ‘those criminals who are under the age of 14, while still eligible for the military draft, will never see the inside of a prison on my watch; rather they will be sent to repopulate the island of Cape Breton, where their unpaid labor will reinvigorate the coal industry and fuel our nation’s growing energy needs into the 22nd Century.”

Finally, a fair and balanced approach to the Justice Portfolio. A new day has dawned in Ottawa. And a new day in Canada. Revel in your new found freedoms for we know not who long it will last.