I thought we had a plan Quebec. I thought we had a deal. What the Hell happened!? Ohhhh... I see you don't remember the plan. How convienent. Let me jog your memory a bit Quebec: I wait in the wings for a while, slowly building up a base of support, moving from 5 seats to 12 this election, get official Party status and *bam* suddenly it's 2015 and I'm the Premier. Sound familiar now? Pardon me? You're right, it does sound like a good plan. Until you ruined it. Yeah, I'm talking to you Quebec, don't look so bashful, you weren't shy on March 26th. 41 seats? This is going to be a nigthmare.

Have you seen the people who I have working for me? Do you even know who you elected? I didn’t clone myself in every riding you know. These people are real pieces of work. Have you sat down and actually spoken with Ms Gretchen Laval from Trois Rievere? Oh you haven't? Funny that you elected her anyway. Well I have sat down with Mme Laval, and she thinks that we should, and I quote, “send those immigrants back where they came from.” She says that with a straight face like the French People were always here, just hiding in the bushes until we decided to reveal ourselves to the First Nation Peoples. I’ll tell you what, you elected Mme Laval, you deal with her. I’ll just forward her late night calls to your house and your wife can yell at you for a while. How about that Quebec? Whould you like that? I thought not.

Or how about young Martin DuPoint from the Ilse-de-Cille? You must know him well, seeing as how you elected him as well. Oh, your memory is a little hazy? Too bad, let me give you a refresher Quebec: Martin is 25 years old. He lives in his mother's basement. He has never held down a job in his whole life. Nor pursued any secondary education. Nor has he left his community for more than 2 days in a row. And though he has never actually met a 'single mother', and bases most of his 'theories' on anecdotal evidence from his alcoholic Uncle Francois, Martin adamantly beleives that 'single mothers are being coddled by the welfare system' and should 'be put to work cleaning highways.' I'll tell you what I'll do for you Quebec, seeing as how you are so wise in your choices, I'm going to put single mothers to work on the highway outside your home in the morning and the night, so you can see them on your way to work and back. I'll even up the ante: pregnant women will work the weekend shifts. Oh, I'm a bad guy? Screw you Quebec, I'm the guy who has to spend half my day listening to Martin "World Experience" Dupont's crazy theories and the other half keeping him away from the media. My life has become so terrible.

Mon Dieu Quebec, do you have any idea what we even stand for? Good, maybe you can explain it to me, because I have no idea. Apparently we’re against both Federalism AND Sovereignty. Really people, do you even listen to what I say when I talk? Why do you think I never put a dollar number to my 'campaign promises'? Do you think we're just bad at math? Here's a hint: We weren't supposed to win! 12 Seats - that was the plan! 41 is just cruel. Do you know how much work the Official Opposition is? Damn, I've got children Quebec. Are you going to pick up some of the babysitting? Oh, you're busy. Thanks for nothing.

Oh, PS, apparently I’m for ‘leaner government’. Yeah, I’m for Charest losing a few pounds, but what does that have to do with your life? Damn, don't just throw your votes around.

Did you see the polls on the Sunday before the vote? The ones that showed the Action démocratique du Québec actually winning the election? I'm not sure if you fully understand me; the Action Democratique is the ADQ! I almost had a heart attack. Seriously. I mean I could probably keep this thing together for 2 or 3 months, but these people I'm with are way out there. We're in no condition to be within even 10 feet of an Executive Order. So Sunday night I went out and pounded a few doors in Jean Charest’s riding to try and turn some of these people back to the Liberals. Many people were quite surprised to see me campaigning for Jean, but I said "Hey, I'm Mario Dumont. I'm for both the ADQ AND the Liberals", which they bought because apparently anything that comes out of my mouth is gold. How did the the French peoples even survive to this point? It's beyond me Quebec.

Your treachary knows no bounds Quebec, to think I trusted you with my wife. I'll send you a video tape of my first caucus meeting and if you have any respect for me left you will watch it in it's entirety. And when you see me crying on that tape I hope you feel terrible about yourself. Anyway, don't phone me for a while, Super Mario is Super Pissed with you.