On Juno weekend I fulfilled a life-long ambition. I met Ben Mulroney.The Ben Mulroney. He shook my hand. And his touch cured my dandruff. It was a Juno-miracle.

I had been waiting outside the Juno venue for 23 hours when He arrived. I was pushed up against the barracades around the red carpet by the other 24 people who had made the Mulroney Pilgramage, but I stood my ground against those sycophants. They were sick with Juno-fever, you could see it in their eyes. But I was sick with Mulroney-fever, and I had never felt so alive. Canada's greatest living celebrity doesn't come to Saskatoon very often, I would not be denied.

As he exited the limo he did not so much walk as glide down the carpet, as graceful as he is handsome. As he waved to the crowd we knew we were in the presence of pure star-dom. I screamed at the top of my lungs for what seemed an enternity: "Ben! Ben! Over here!" I cried "I'm your biggest fan". Tears began to stream down my face. I looked down and found I was trembling. No. I was shaking. Over and over I called his name into the afternoon sunset, but my words floated to the heavens, never finding the Mulroon's ears. Benji was attempting to spread himself out over the crowd, a noble gesture to the tens of us who had waited all night to bask in his glow.

I grew hoarse. And I began to panic. Would he stop for a second, or would he pass me by? When a celebrity's star is on the rise they become very busy, and as well all know, Ben's star is hurtling towards the heaven's at a break neck pace. THE Ben Mulroney, here in Saskatoon. When the sun set we would have no need for lights, as his pprsonal brightness would bathe the city of bridges in a golden hue. This was the host of Canadian Idol. This was the young lad whose warm heart and quick wit had healed families across this great land, had reminded us of what it meant to be Canadian.Ben Mulroney. The Mulroon to his close friends. Finally, a true hero, who fought his way up from nothing to achieve national prominence.

So, through parched lips, I made one last bid for the attention of Canada's Favorite Son, I shouted from my perch on the side: "Benedict Martin Paul Mulroney". And he turned. And his eyes pierced my soul. This was a man who emobied the Canadian Dream: Copy Something American, but in a Less Cool Way. I know, I know, the Idol franchise comes from the UK, but Ben Mulroney would never participate in a European rip-off. he's classy enough to know where Canadian bread and butter comes from: ripping off American television. And Ben, is foremost a Canadian. He would never betray our heritage of copying the Yanks.

As he walked towards me it seemed like the world went silent. It was only me an The Ben. Our eyes locked. His hair flowing brazenly in the wind. He said 'Hello' in a way that I had never head before; or perhaps it was in a way that I had always known and was just now remembering as Ben spoke it to me. He touched my outreached hand and I felt the electricity race through my hands, up my arms and itnot my scalp. He smiled, and slyly winked, before walking away, his task complete. I would never have dandruff again. Nor would I ever truly love again, the Son of the Boy from Baie-Comaeu haven stolen my heart. It truly was a Juno-Miracle, and every year I will go back to the palce, a pilgramage to The Mulroon, and stand in that spot, and think thoughts of Ben Mulroney.

Now I don't want to come across as some star-stuck fool, but here are some little known facts about Ben:

Fact: Ben is 7 feet tall.

Fact: Ben's smile can melt a stick of butter from 10 feet.

Fact: Ben's smile can melt a heart from 2000 Miles.

Fact: Ben Mulroney's favorite food is the BLT. But he gets them to take out the Bacon, because he's a vegetarian. He's very caring. He makes a point of ordering a BLT, and jsut before the waitress leaves he says "honey, I'm a vegetarian. Could you hold the bacon.You don't have any tofurkey back there do you? No.That's fine. Bring me an LT." Everytime. So classy.

Fact: Ben Mulroney started with absolutely nothing. Though he went to Duke University, he didn't really like it. And now look where he is.

Fact: Ben Mulroney once drank an entire bottle of Jack Daniels. And it only made him nicer.

Fact: Ben Mulroney has never gone to a dentist. He can't trust them with his smile. He does his own dental work using a ballpeen hammer and a glue gun.

Fact: Ben Mulroney does not grow hair out his head, he grows silk.

Fact: Ben loves it when you call him 'The Mulroon'. It is a sign of respect.

Fact: When Ben Mulroney wakes up in the morning he's always pleasantly surprised when he looks in the mirror and finds out he's Ben Mulroney.

Juno weekend was probably the defining moment of my life, and I will relive in constantly in my memories. God speed Ben Mulroney. God speed The Mulroon. May you live a thousand years and finally end the disease of dandruff that plagues the world.