The legal community is straining, pushing, and moaning with excitement today, as private law firm Bennett Crohn’s has released their new policy for business efficacy, requiring articling students and first year associates to wear diapers while at work, (aka., day and night).

“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that paying employees to take dumps is bad for business-not to mention unsanitary and morally repulsive.” said BC’s senior partner Chazz “Scooter” Hutchinson. Hutchinson claims paid bathroom breaks have cost BC some 15 thousand dollars this year (not including 1-ply costs). Hutchinson is excited to see BC’s lawyers following the lead of world class astronauts by strapping on the custom made BC “efficiency savers”.

“Astronauts wear diapers because they love it, and because they’re proud of their lives, and because they know defaming a porta-pottie isn’t part of what they’re paid for. Are BC’s young lawyers not proud? Do they not love their lives? They are envy of the legal world, and that’s not because they know how to lay out a makeshift sani-seat. I’m confident that our bright minds will love this new policy so much that they will follow the lead of those astronauts and wear them not just at work, but also in high-speed chase scenarios and other day-to-day stuff.” said noted BC lawyer Arno “Chubby” Rubelnitski.

“I’m not a rocket surgeon, but I know that our kids aren’t billing in the john. We already tried to put laptops and Dictaphones above the urinals, and it didn’t work. Besides, who doesn’t want to feel like a kid again!” said BC partner and avid foosball player Stuart “T-Bone” Matchkowski, “I think they’ll really understand how much business sense this makes once they see how we’ve ‘crunched’ the numbers.”

“We have 2 options” opined current BC articling student Ebeneezer Caldwell IV, “we can stop eating, or we can wear diapers. I, for one, don’t think you need to be a rocket welder to know it’s nice to have a catered 5 minute supper break every day at 9pm…..so pass me an efficiency saver.”

It remains to be seen what the fallout of Bennett Crohn’s decision will be in the legal community writ large, but for now it seems clear they will have a definite edge over other major national firms. Even this reporter knows it doesn’t take a rocket sweat-shop worker to realize BC has really squeezed out a juicy policy that all of the rest of the legal world will need to respond to with a dose of rapid regularity.