"Many lawyers will tell you that 'volunteer and community work is critical to becoming Partner'. This is a bold-faced lie."”

I work in a large firm in Calgary, and as a 5th year associate I have been dumped into the stressful arena of Partner Politics. I want to be partner. Who doesn’t. It’s like getting tenure at a University, they can’t just clean out your desk the next time you call in sick. However, I have seen the inner workings of the system and know it takes a Machiavellian mind-set to get to the top, here are some tips on making Partner:

1. The Partner Game is game of comparison; you versus the other associates. So tip number one is this: find the associates who can’t hold their booze. Make a mental note of who they are: the woman who cries uncontrollably after 3 gin and tonics, the gentleman who fights the DJ after 2 rye and cokes. Buy these people drinks at work functions. And you will look like a star to everybody else (especially partners) as you refrain from crying in the bathroom and somehow hold yourself back from punching the DJ in the neck. You don’t have to necessarily be the best lawyer to move up, you just have to be somebody who doesn’t completely collapse at social occasions and can conceal his emotions after a few drinks. The criers and the rage-a-holics have all sorts of issues, and while others would attempt to help, you will exploit. It’s the name of the game.

A spin-off technique is finding the really outspoken associate with deeply held religious or political views. You don't even need to get this guy drunk, all you need to do is ask him subtly pointed questions; such as “ What do you think about the new Pope” or “What are you going to do with your Ralph Bucks”; the only thing that makes people more uncomfortable than deeply held beliefs is people who want to talk about those beliefs. I’m not saying it’s bad to have deeply held beliefs, we all have them, I’m just saying keep them bottled up inside. Once your Partner you can be a stalwart Liberal/NDP/CPC/Roman Catholic/Anglican/JW, but until then, keep the lectures to yourself. Try to get somebody else to do the lecturing. Because they will.

2. Many lawyers will tell you that ‘volunteer and community work is critical to becoming Partner’. This is a bold-faced lie. You know what matters: Billable Hours. Making Partner is a numbers game. Bill those hours, churn and burn your way to the top. Community work will take up your time, time you need to be billing. Trust me on this one. You will have plenty of time to volunteer once you have become Partner and can live off the hard work of lowly associates like myself, but until then, keep your head down and figure out how to be billing constantly. Ideally you need to be dreaming of your client’s issues so you can wake up and immediately bill 8 hours. Of course the Partner’s keep the big billing clients like Exxon and Shell hidden in their desks, so you will need to work on many little files, so you are screwed. You do not have the time to grind out the little files which take 3 hours of work for every hour you bill. If you want to make partner you have to figure out how to work faster and smarter than those around you, you need to come up with answers fast. It will be difficult at first, but you must let go of the feeling that every client is important. Some are more equal than others.

3. Partner is a game of numbers, but it is played on the background of Office Politics. A magical being does not descend from the sky and point at people and declare them Partner. The decision is made by a vote in a back room by certain Partners who know you and see you all the time. To tell you the truth, the real decision is probably made by 3 or 4 senior partners. As you will find out about this thing called life, there is no justice. I work with a person who as been an associate for 15 years. That is a long time to be an associate. This person is a hard worker. This person diligently goes to staff functions. This person drags themselves into the office everyday and crosses their fingers hoping that today is that magical day. And again this person will be burned, because they don’t speak with anybody, they fade into the background. They think that hard work is enough. This is the same person who is spending 4 hours on a file and billing 1, working very hard because they think that ‘the Partners notice my hard work and will bump me up eventually’. You want to be Partner? You better bill some hours, and then you better make some friends, because at the end of the day, once the numbers are crunched and the decision is put, it is a popularity contest.

Sincerely,
Lawyer Zero